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Men's
Definitions for Women
- Nymphomaniac.
A woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
- Frigid.
Awoman who wants to have sex less often than he does, or who requires
more foreplay than lifting her nighty
- Nag.
A woman who wants more to her life with him than just intercourse
The
Two Sisters
 Mrs.
Shapiro, the Matchmaker, goes to see Mr. Cohen, a confirmed bachelor
for many years. "Mr. Cohen, it's never too late to find the
woman of your dreams. I have exactly the one you need. You only
have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!"
says the Matchmaker.
"Don't
bother," replies Mr. Cohen, "I've two sisters at home,
who look after all my needs."
"That's all
well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the
role of a wife," says Mrs. Shapiro.
Mr. Cohen replied
"I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were mine."
How
Long?
A
guy sticks his head in the barbershop and asks "How long before
I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and
says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.
A few days later,
the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long
before I get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop full
of customers and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.
A week later, the
same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before
I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop an says,
"About an hour and half." The guy leaves.
The barber looks
over at a friend in the shop, and says, "Hey Bill, follow that
guy and see where he goes."
In a little while
Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber
asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill
looks up and said, "To your house."
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